Photo by Steve Granitz/WireImage
Let Arctic Monkeys' Discography Inspire Your Perfect Post-Punk Capsule Wardrobe
If you, like the rest of the world, are in the middle of Marie Kondo-ing your life and wardrobe, asking yourself which jumper sparks joy and what piece of fitted denim sparks disdain, I've got a shortcut to set you and your closet in the right direction: Search no further than the lyrical (and literal) stylings of Britain's biggest band, GRAMMY-nominated Arctic Monkeys.
Fashion and rock 'n' roll have always been eager bedfellows, and in this day and age, no one quite does both as well as the aforementioned garage-rock purveyors. Sure, you might know them best as the rollicking English act that received two GRAMMY nods all the way back in 2006 for their earnest and uncompromisable debut, Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not (not to mention the B-side to "I Bet You Look Good on the Dancefloor": "Chun Li's Flying Bird Kick"). And this year, for the 61st GRAMMY Awards (airing on Sunday, Feb. 10 on CBS), the lads are back with two more nominations: Best Rock Performance for "Four Out Of Five" and Best Alternative Music Album for last year's Tranquility Base Hotel + Casino. And let's not forget their 2014 nomination for the beat-drenched Best Rock Performance contender "Do I Wanna Know," a song so unflinchingly greasy and gritty you can feel the weight of a motorcycle jacket heavy on your shoulders the moment you hear the opening riffs.
Yes, Jamie Cook, Nick O'Malley, Alex Turner, and Matt Helders make up one of rock’s most formidable bands, but also yes, they’re now your newest and most qualified stylists.
So, put on your dancing shoes, try to keep your trousers on, and get ready to don a chord-inspired closet-worthy collection you can take from day to night or from Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not to Tranquility Base Hotel + Casino. Whether you're in need of a wardrobe fit for dancing to electro-pop like a robot or you're on the prowl for something to slip on before having a martini at on the lunar surface on a Saturday night, we've (literally) got you covered.
Accompany Your "No. 1 Party Anthem" With A Classic Leather Jacket
If you could transmute every beat, meter and tempo orchestrated by Arctic Monkeys into one item of clothing, you'd end up with a leather jacket, more than likely with a collar popped like an antenna and styled with sunglasses indoors. You're also going to want a skirt, specifically the kind reminicsced about in "Suck It And See," that packs the same firepower of a sawed-off shotgun. Then step into a pair of motorcycle boots capable of giving onlookers acrobatic blood, à la "She's Thunderstorms."
Shake Things Up With "Fluorescent Adolescent" Fishnets
If your wardrobe has become monotonous, or dare I say, boring, and you feel you’ve discarded all your naughty nights for niceness, take some apt advice from "Fluorescent Adolescent" and keep a pair fishnets at the ready. And why stop there? Give yourself permission to slip into interstellar-gator skin boots, and layer a slip dress under a cheetah-print coat, because as the song "Arabella" confirms—that's magic.
Pull On Some Cozy "Knee Socks"
So, what to wear when you’re not getting gussied up for clubs with lights in the floors and sweat on the walls? May I suggest staying in and walking around your house in a borrowed sky blue Lacoste polo like in "Knee Socks." Or, take some inspiration from “A Certain Romance” and throw on some classic Reeboks or knackered Converse. Remember Turner's posturing in "Piledriver Waltz"? Even if you want a wardrobe capable of channeling otherworldly abilities, "if you're gonna try and walk on water, make sure you wear your comfortable shoes."
Going Swimming? Remember Your "Golden Trunks"
Here's a bonus lyrical leisure tip from songs "Arabella" and "Star Treatment," you know, for when you’re heading somewhere you can put a straw in something tropical: Don’t forget to pack a silver Barbarella swimsuit in your monogram suitcase. Or perhaps, you’ll keep it flashy in a pair of “Golden Trunks." Regardless, thinking out of the box on holiday will pay off—trust me, everyone will be thinking "She Looks Like Fun."
Don't Forget: Confidence Is Key
When you're not taking cues from Arctic Monkeys' lyrics (or their actual wardrobe and making the leap from T-shirt and loose-fitting jeans to three-piece suites, with a detour to leather jackets and slicked back pompadours along the way), remember to embrace their artistic disposition. Never forget that it’s OK to be bold, to switch it up from day to day, from track to track, from album to album. And yes, some people may miss the old way you dressed before your newfound inspiration. There may be days when you feel like you should evacuate the bench sat in front of your Steinway & Sons piano and run back into the familiar open arms of your Fender Standard Stratocaster Electric Guitar, but it's in those times you must remember that transformation is a gift, change is inevitable, and pushing your art is the only way to truly express yourself. Because, underneath it all, what truly matters is the confidence by which you carry your new found ensembles.
Haters? Give them the "Brainstorm" treatment, they won’t be able to take their eyes of your t-shirt and ties combination, so bless them with you effortlessness and then go off to do big new things. See you later, innovator.
So there you have it, a super easy, post-punk style guide that I’m willing to bet will keep you looking good on the dance floor or feeling warp speed chic in any and all well-reviewed rooftop space station taquerias. And remember, even if you don’t do major credit cards (and I doubt you do receipts) you can still syncopate your wardrobe to the sleek yet rugged sonics of Arctic Monkeys’ award-worthy discography sans designer price tags, because as a wise band from Sheffield once said, even if you're a Topshop princess, you’re a rock star, too.